When I was seventeen I thought loneliness was the prize you paid for creativity. It was okay to be estranged from the world if out of that separation a story grew. And it was okay to feel the painful absence that came from longing for something powerfully beyond my reach if poetry could rise from that same place. Now, nearing sixty, I do what I can to fend off loneliness and seek to create instead as a member of a community responsible for other members.But I wonder sometimes if I did not lose something necessary in this life-long journey from self to other. It was certainly painful, that youthful angst. But there was also that sense that I was digging, uncovering, deepening. There was separation and isolation and vain pride at being different. Yes, all that. But there was also this crazy sense of sticking stubbornly to the path you were discovering, the road not taken. If I could join that seventeen-year-old and the sixty-year-old, I would keep the sense of being special and throw out the sense of being better. I would be unique and I would be like everybody else. I would keep the longing for some unknown other in the midst of my belonging to all others. If I could take something from that seventeen-year-old boy and infuse it into these old arms, it would be this: his fear of being shallow and trivial, of wasting life; his courage to face loneliness rather than be who he was not; the passionate sense that he was preparing, becoming, learning, getting ready for his appointed task.
February 23, 2013
January 10, 2013
Writing Exercises
When it is hard to continue, take a poem that speaks to you and write one of your own. Here’s one based on a poem in Rilke’s Book of Hours.
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And God said to me: Write
I am the only judge
And my judgment was given when you were born.
I will take whatever you give.
There is no measurement other than your doing.
I will take your effort that tiny seed
and plant it in the earth soaked with tears.
What worries you now that you know
Your work is the vessel for my love?
October 29, 2012
A Good Editor
-If you are lucky a good editor is an expert that you fully trust. If you are very lucky, a friend. If you are blessed beyond measure a soul-mate.
-Believes that grammar is a path to beauty. Is in love with sentences.
-Helps you say what you tried to say. Helps you discover the meaning of your work. Let’s you see your vision.
-Taps you on the shoulder and gently says, “Ah, remember the reader.”
-Sends you back to the drawing board for more goodness and more hope.
-Believes in you when you don’t. Waits for you until you do.
-Thinks she’s here (as on this earth) in part for you.
-Learns from you. Teaches you. Is inspired by you. Awakens you. Is deepened by you. Guides you.
-Does not accept good when there is better and won’t settle for better until it is your best.
-Diagrams your book so you don’t have to. Knows literary theory so you can be free to follow your gut.
-Articulates in actual words the vague sense you have that something is not right. Hears the little bells you decided to ignore. Surprises you with her delight.
-Knows there’s such a thing as too subtle and too obvious.
-Knows what others are writing and expects you to be different.
-Thinks you’re hot stuff, even if she’s smarter than you.
-Recognizes that it is not about you or her but about something greater.